When Will It End?
by magicallittleme
Summary: A Pansy fic, which shows her differently then the way she's usually shown. Her thoughts and ideas and things mostly.


The golden light of the rising sun wakes me up bright and early, just like it always does. Quickly I put the curtain shut, as so not to wake up any of the other girls. I change into a light dress and my ballet slippers, tying back my hair so it won't bother me. Then I slip out of my dorm, and out of the Slytherin common room. 

Half the sky is still dark when I arrive at the field. The grass is wet with small droplets of dew, and I can hear the familiar trill of the birds. Ignoring the wetness on the bottom of my shoes, I start my stretches. 

I'm a dancer. Most people I tell this to never believe me, but they're just ignorant fools. I took dance, and I had the right body for it too. Skinny with long legs and feet that naturally turn outwards. If I had been a few inches taller, I would have been going to a special school that combines magic and dance into something useful.

It broke my heart when I learned that I was too short to go. I was only ten then, since it was a very prestigious school and you had to sign up a year early. The witch there took one look at me and announced I was too short. I burst into tears and couldn't be consoled by anything. A year later, I got accepted into Hogwarts. 

Ever since then, I've been searching for an art that I love as much as I loved dance. Amazingly enough, I was good at most of the ones I tried. Still, I didn't feel connected with any of them. 

I still dance, just because I love it. But now, there's no one to tell me whether I'm doing it right or wrong, so my skills have worn off a bit. And it's more like modern dance now, than it is ballet. 

I spin around again and again, loving the exhilaration of it. My hair somehow flies out of the elastic, but I'm loving it too much to stop. Finally I fall to the ground, exhausted. I can already hear noises in the school, noises of people getting ready for the day.

"I guess it's time to go in," I said to myself, walking back towards the school. 

People are just so judgmental, I thought as I put my things away. Why do they feel like they have to hide everything? It was an answer I already knew. Because others will laugh. 

I'm not a typical Slytherin. Everything I do is an act. As I already said, I'm good at everything that has anything to do with the arts, and drama is one of them. 

I guess it all started when I was around eight. I had an older sister, whose name was Clarissa. We lived in a big mansion, with many servants and maids. 

Father was deeply involved in the Dark Arts. He didn't have a Dark Mark, as he started after Voldemort's downfall. His brother, my uncle, had gotten him into it. 

One night they were out doing the evil things they always did, when they met an angry mob of wizards. The mob figured out what they were up to immediately, and chased them all the way back to our house. 

Father burst into the house and tried to get us all out quickly. Unfortunately, by then, the mob had already caught up to them and rushed into the house. 

I was with Clarissa in her room, when they stomped up the stairs. We had heard our parents' anguished cries, so we had a pretty good idea of what was going on.

"Quick Pansy, hide" she whispered. 

I nodded and did as she asked without any questions. I managed to squeeze myself into her small closet, and sat there in the darkness afraid of what was going to happen next. 

People burst into her bedroom, where she sat, brushing her hair, appearing unaware of what was going on. 

"Who are you?" asked one of the wizards harshly. 

"Why, just a young maid sir" she answered without blinking an eye. "I only work here during the summers, as I'm a student at Hogwarts."

"What house are you in?" he asked. 

"Slytherin" she answered, sweetly and truthfully. 

They killed her. I could see the whole thing through the little crack in the door and she died bravely, without even a cry. They then left, but not without setting the house on fire. 

I could feel the heat that was erupting from the center of the house. I found an old broom of Clarissa and hovered in the sky until I was sure they were gone. And then I landed by the gate of the house, and sat there crying. And that's how my uncle found me.

He took me home to live with him and his family, and that's where I've been since. They were the ones who enrolled me in dancing, as a way to try and get me over the death of my family. 

We lived in a house in a small village just south of London. Our village was full of children, and they were all witches and wizards. I made friends with many of them. 

But my best friend was my next door neighbour, a girl a few years older than me. She was already in Hogwarts, but whenever she came home, we played, and she treated me like I was her age. I admired her because she was so good at everything and friendly too. My uncle thought her a suitable friend for me since she was in Slytherin. 

She died a year later. Some crazed man had broken into Hogwarts, and killed everyone he could find that was a Slytherin. Yet he didn't get charged or anything, as the media covered it up as best as they could, saying his crime was justified. 

It was then that I realized all the prejudice against Slytherins and I was completely shocked. Slytherins couldn't be that bad. Both my sister and my best friend had been one, and they were perfectly nice. 

Since I had been refused from the School of Dance, I decided that if I went to Hogwarts, I would try and get into Slytherin, and prove them all wrong. I would prove to them all that Slytherins weren't all bad, just misunderstood. 

That was all I thought about on the train to Hogwarts. I didn't talk to anyone throughout the whole ride. The only time I talked was to order a bag of Every Flavour Beans from the lady with the trolley. 

I lined up with everyone else, saying nothing. A sniffling boy with a toad bumped into me, hard, and I fell onto the ground. 

"Sorry" he mumbled, before running away. 

I just sat there, amazed at how rude people could be. Just then the strict looking woman came in again and glared down at me. I glared back, until she looked away from me and started talking. 

Following her instructions, we filed into the Great Hall, where hundreds of other kids were watching our every move. I gulped. I hadn't expected being sorted to be this nerve wracking. 

Finally, it was my turn, and I plopped down on the stool and jammed the hat on my head. 

__

Oof, grunted the hat. _You're a feisty one, are you?_

__

Just put me in Slytherin and get it over with, I said. I was losing my patience. 

__

Well, you could be in Slytherin. You do have the ambition...what's this? An urge to prove something to the world, eh? Maybe you should be a Slytherin. 

I felt my mouth form a silly grin. Maybe the stupid hat wasn't so bad after all. 

__

But you could also be in Gryffindor, it continued. _You've been quite brave in your past, overcoming such tragedies. _

__

No way, I thought. _Slytherin. Right now_. 

__

Are you sure about that, it asked doubtfully, as if I didn't know what I was talking about. 

__

YES!!!! I thought this as hard as I could; hoping the hat would get the message. 

__

Well you don't have to shout, it complained. _If you want to be in Slytherin, the_ SLYTHERIN _you'll go._ It shouted my house for the whole school to hear. 

__

Now that wasn't so hard was it, I thought to it, before pulling it off my head. 

I sauntered off to the Slytherin table, quite please with myself. A boy with platinum hair grinned at me from across the table. "Draco Malfoy, who're you?" he asked, holding out a hand. 

"You'll find out eventually" I told him. He scowled at me and I grinned happily. 

I soon learned that when you were a Slytherin, people weren't nice to you even if you were nice to them. There were so many stereotypes, and most of them weren't true. 

Draco tried talking to me again the next day, and this time I was nicer to him. There was something about all the Slytherins that I just couldn't place. They all had a haunted look in their eyes. 

It wasn't until our first flying class that I learned how rude to us the Gryffindors really were. I thought the age old rivalry between the two houses would have worn down a bit by now, but I was wrong. 

"Be mean" Blaise whispered to me, "because if you don't attack, they will" 

I gulped. Now was the time to test my acting skills. 

Sure enough, as soon as Madam Hooch left with Neville, an argument started up. Blaise elbowed me, and I figured I should jump in. 

"Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?" I improvised. "Never thought you'd like fat little cry babies, Parvati" 

Parvati looked at me, hurt, and I winked at her to show her I was kidding. She had lived a few houses down from my uncle's house, and we had played together as kids. She understood what I was doing instantly. 

As lessons ended that day, I could hear Gryffindors muttering about me, the "hard faced" Slytherin girl. Imagine that! It's so funny hearing the far-fetched insults people make up about you when they're mad. 

It was the same thing three years later at the Yule Ball. I had gone with Draco, because he asked me to. 

And that was when the Gryffindors started saying how I was "fawning" over him, and that I was such a slut and all that junk. It's laughable really. I don't even like Draco. 

He told me later that I was the only Slytherin girl his father had thought suitable to take to a ball. I didn't care; he was only a friend. 

I hated my dress. It was pink, the more horrible colour in the world, since it was the only thing my aunt would send me, and she thought I looked "cute" in it. I thought it was utterly disgusting. 

I didn't get mad at them all for saying that, though I knew I had to act it. They said horrible things because they were jealous or something like that. Don't give me that look. I know half the girls in the school have the hugest crush on Draco. I'm not stupid. Unlike some people...

Things didn't change much over the next few years. I tried as hard as I could to get people to listen to me, but they ignored me completely, just because I was a Slytherin. 

And now it's seventh year already, and we all have to decide what to do with our lives. Job wise I mean. Some of us had ambitions but most of us had no idea what to do at all. 

Blaise wanted a job in the fashion industry, as either a robe designer or a model. Crabbe wanted a job at the Ministry, though I doubt someone of his intelligence would ever make it there. And then there were the ones who didn't care what job they had, as long they were rich and famous. 

Dumbledore gave us a huge lecture on how important good jobs were, the day before graduation. He planned it at the worst possible time, since most of us were so excited about grad that we didn't even listen. Eventually, he gave up on us, and walked away, leaving us to our anxiety. 

Our graduation was a magical night. The ceremony was long and monotonous, and I could hear everyone's sigh of relief when it was over. They held a special dance for us graduates afterwards, and I watched the couples walk into the Great Hall, laughing and chatting. 

I didn't go in. I stayed outside, along with a bunch of my friends from all four houses. We walked over to our favourite spot, the grassy hill overlooking Hogsmeade, and sat down, not caring about getting our robes dirty, just watching the bright lights dance, a light June breeze blowing by. 

"So, what are you all going to do?" I asked finally. Several heads turned to look at me. 

"I still dunno whether to be a designer or a model" pondered Blaise, falling back onto the grass, her hair spread out like a fan. 

"And I just don't know what I'm good at" said Lisa, a Ravenclaw girl. 

"You know, I almost wish that we could just stay here forever, that nothing would ever change" mused Mandy, another Ravenclaw.

"But wouldn't that get boring after a while?" asked Blaise. "Change is a good thing"

"Not all the time" I sighed. "I'll miss you all. I doubt that we'll see each other much after tonight"

They all started to protest, but their voices soon died down. They knew just as well as I did that what I had said was true. They gossiped about mindless things a bit more, then all stopped talking at once. We sat in silence a few minutes longer. 

"I think we should get back now," said Lisa. "People might be getting worried. Coming, Pansy?" 

I shook my head, and they left, leaving me alone. It was amazing, that after all this time, they could still talk about things that happened years and years ago. And most of that were insults about people they don't even know. 

I sighed. Why did humans have to stereotype everyone, have to judge people they don't know? How cruel some people could be was just shocking sometimes. 

I walked back to the castle, deep thoughts burdening my mind. If only people didn't judge others so much. If only they wouldn't hate people they don't even know. If only...

I let out a bitter laugh. I hadn't even done what I had meant to do all these years yet, to prove to others that Slytherins weren't all bad. My dreams were just a figment of my imagination. 

When will all this prejudice ever end?

Disclaimer: Things never belong to me, why would it start now?

AN: When will I ever stop hating the things I write? Never I guess. Um, should I talk about happier subject maybe? We got option sheets today. It outlines the courses we hafta take for high school. And I don't know whether to take drama or instrumental music. The rest of the stuff is pretty easy, it depends on whether you're deciding to go to university or not. Um, review? =)


End file.
